Before You Try to Fix It, Talk to Your Players

You don't "make" players do things. Players do things because they want to. This is a game we play together.

The DM is one role in D&D, and the players are another. They're different roles, but neither one is more important than the other. Without the DM, there isn't really a game. Without the players, there definitely isn't one.

The DM is not "in charge" just like the players aren't. The DM's job is to run the game, but that doesn't mean they're dictating what happens. The players might be following a carefully written adventure, exploring a sandbox, or murder hoboing them through your world. The DM can be the referee, the facilitator, the storyteller, or whatever works for their table.

The DM needs to run a game the players want to play, and the players need to play a game the DM wants to run.

Both sides have to want the game they're playing, and neither side is obligated to completely reshape themselves for the other.

If your players "aren't inspired," "get bored," or "don't roleplay enough," that isn't necessarily a DM problem. It's not necessarily a player problem either.

It's a problem you have as a group.

And if you're having a problem as a group, the first thing you should probably do is talk to the group.

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Are You Even Playing the Same Game?

Imagine you set up a checkerboard between you and another person. One of you puts checkers on your side, and the other puts chess pieces on theirs.

You're probably not going to have a very good time.

There's quite a few ways to solve that problem, but the best way is to not have it in the first place. And that starts with setting expectations.

If you tell your players, "We're playing checkers," and they show up expecting to play chess, that's clearly an issue on their end.

If you tell your players, "We're playing a game," and they bring checkers to your chess match, you clearly didn't set expectations correctly.

And of course, there's always the chance that they bring checkers to your chess board and you all have a fun game of chessers.

That's great if it happens. It's just not something you should assume will work.

Everyone talks about the good ol' "Session Zero," which is a good thing. What people fail to grasp, due to the nature of internet discourse being reduced to buzzwords and losing all understanding of the concept behind the word, is that "Session Zero" is an ongoing thing.

You don't need a literal session. You just need to set expectations.

No plan survives first contact, so what about D&D leads us to expect anything different?

If everything could be solved before the first session, that'd be great. But for most of us, D&D is an ongoing experience. You learn what everyone actually enjoys by playing together.

Maybe you thought your players wanted one kind of game and they actually wanted another. Maybe you thought they loved a particular kind of encounter and they didn't. Maybe your players thought they wanted a heavily roleplay-focused campaign and then realized they actually just want to hit things with swords for four hours.

That's fine.

You talk it out.

If you're not meeting your players' expectations, bring it up again. Likewise, if your players aren't meeting your expectations, it might be time to have a sit-down and talk it out once more.

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Stop Trying to Solve Everything Yourself

There's an inherent flaw in the mentality of "making" my players do anything, just like there's a flaw in trying to change your own game to "better engage your players."

These are not things that you do to them. They're not things that you should have to figure out entirely by yourself. They're things you discuss with the people you're playing with.

Someone asks, "How do I motivate my player's character?"

Why are you trying to figure that out by yourself?

Ask the player.

"What motivates your character?"

"What would make them care about this?"

"What do you want your character to get out of this story?"

You don't have to invent the perfect motivation for someone else's character. You have the person who created the character sitting right there.

The same thing applies to almost every other version of this question.

"How do I get my players to roleplay more?"

Talk to them.

"How do I keep my players engaged?"

Talk to them.

"My players don't seem interested in this arc."

Talk to them.

Maybe they'll tell you that they actually love the arc and you were worried about nothing. Maybe they'll tell you they don't like it. Maybe they'll give you an idea you never would have thought of yourself.

That's the point.

They're playing the game too.

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Maybe the Problem Isn't a Problem

You'd be amazed how many "problems" with the game are imagined by the DM.

I like to make the joke that "DM" stands for Imposter Syndrome, because I too have fallen victim to that mentality.

We judge ourselves way more than our friends judge us.

There have been plenty of times where I thought something I ran was lame, only for my players to tell me how much fun they had.

Sometimes the thing you think is a problem isn't a problem at all.

The darker side of this is that your players may be feeling the same way.

If you don't talk to them, how are they supposed to know whether they're meeting your expectations?

How do they know that their character is doing what you wanted?

How do they know that their roleplay is suitable to the kind of game you want to run?

They don't.

They aren't mind readers and neither are you!

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Talking Doesn't Have to Be a Big Deal

If you find it easier to ask random people on the internet for advice than to talk to the so-called "friends" that you play with, despite the fact that you dedicate hours of prep and play time talking to or about them for fun, that should be something you use a bit of introspection about.

If the issue is bad enough that you're looking for outside help, the obvious first place to look is the people you're already playing with. They have all the context of the problem that some random person on Reddit doesn't.

And you don't even have to make it a big deal.

"Hey guys, did you enjoy that last arc? If anything was bad, let me know. Otherwise, I might try it again!"

That easy.

Or:

"Hey, thanks guys. You really have been doing a great job and I'm glad to have you as my players."

That's all you need to say to let them know when they're on the mark.

If you normalize communication, there is nothing to fear.

If the only time someone talks to you is when there's something negative to say, you're going to start dreading talking to that person.

Despite being at multiple different jobs now that I enjoy and that promote a good work environment, my heart still drops when I hear, "Can you meet me in my office for a little meeting?" at work!

My trauma from past jobs makes me dread hearing those words despite the fact that 10 out of 10 times at my new place, hearing them means I'm getting praise or a raise!

That's why I think communication needs to be normal.

Don't wait until there's a problem to talk to your players.

Ask them what they like. Ask them what they don't like. Tell them when you think they're doing a good job. Tell them when something isn't working for you.

You don't have to solve everything yourself.

Before you try to fix it, talk to your players.